Eve

Since you asked (really, you did!), I am still alive. And things are looking up a little bit. Winter was long and hard. It was cold and wet, it was filled with sickness and injuries in my household. I had a major identity crisis, which has alllllmost been resolved. You probably will not believe this,... Continue Reading →

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Happy Birthday, Michaela

Hey there baby girl. I just wanted to come and say happy birthday to you, just in case you are out there somewhere, in case you remember that today is your birthday, in case you might be checking in here. It was forty years ago today you were born, at 8:13 p.m., the first time... Continue Reading →

Loss in the shadows

Funny how sometimes you do something, and only afterwards realize that what you were actually doing was something totally different. I know this statement probably makes no sense. But I spent this morning roaming around Lake Chabot looking for my missing kitties. Someone on the street had recently trapped the cats on our street and... Continue Reading →

Status of the Investigation

I'm happy to say that there continue to be new people learning about Michaela's story on a regular basis, or people who have not been reading my blogs for a long time anyway. One of the things these people are always concerned about is getting people to come forward with information. This is a logical... Continue Reading →

November 20th

I watched the day dawn on November 20th, 29 years ago. I had spent the night pacing. I had spent it kneeling in front of my couch, praying, begging. I had spent it standing in my front door, gazing down the street in the direction I had seen Michaela disappear the day before, straining to... Continue Reading →

November 18th

November 18th, 29 years ago, an eternity and yet a brief moment, marks the last happy, innocent day I spent with you, Michaela. What did we do that day? How could my memory of the day after be so sharp, but that last happy day be washed away? It was the last day of school... Continue Reading →

Fall brings many feels

This morning I had to turn the heat on in my home for one of the first times in many months. The feel of it warming the air brings with it those change of season feelings, like walking through streets filled with fallen leaves used to. Excuse me for a second, because even writing that... Continue Reading →

Love Anyway

Deep grief does terrible things to you. It's like an earthquake deep in your soul: everything tumbles and falls out of place. You are literally broken. There are about as many responses to this as there are people who grieve. Somehow, once the dust settles and you can see a little more clearly, you have to... Continue Reading →

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