Springtime in Cancerland

This morning I stepped outside, and I noticed that some of the early blooming trees have started sprouting leaf buds, and it took me back to last year. It was Springtime when I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer last year, and I had also just moved to my little corner of rural Iowa a... Continue Reading →

Happy Birthday, Michaela!

Tomorrow is Michaela's birthday. I have struggled mightily with what to do with this day since she has been gone. For some years, I had a group of friends who came to my house, and we would sit in a circle and remember Michaela. But time and tides ended that practice. For years after that... Continue Reading →

So many feelings….

What an emotional basket case I have been this morning. The first thing I laid eyes on this morning was a post by a woman I follow on Facebook and Instagram. She is very young and very beautiful and she has metastatic breast cancer. She is a single parent with three kids, ages ten and... Continue Reading →

Michaela, never forgotten

This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people... Continue Reading →

Unanswered questions

What do a missing child and metastatic cancer have in common? Unanswered questions. The unknown. I am a person who likes to have information, and to have it now. I want to know what is happening, when, where, and why. Just ask my kids. They are all adults now -- the youngest will be 27... Continue Reading →

Oncologist tomorrow

I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, and I would really like to ask if you would all please pray for wisdom for my doctor. I have a very difficult cancer. Lobular breast cancer does not show up well on scans. What I have showed up in a bump in a conspicuous place I... Continue Reading →

Missing Michaela

This morning, before I was really awake, at the trailing end of a dream, the thought came to me that I should finish writing my book, Missing Michaela. Now I did finish this manuscript once, 25 years ago. But I look back on the world and myself then, and, well, it's like looking back on... Continue Reading →

Shall we burn the pink ribbons?

October is breast cancer awareness month. That means time for people to decorate with pink ribbons, and to post obscure things on Facebook that only a chosen few know are symbolic of the fact that they are concerned about breast cancer. On the other hand, I have seen a lot of anger expressed at everything... Continue Reading →

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