Tomorrow is Michaela's birthday. I have struggled mightily with what to do with this day since she has been gone. For some years, I had a group of friends who came to my house, and we would sit in a circle and remember Michaela. But time and tides ended that practice. For years after that... Continue Reading →
Michaela, never forgotten
This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people... Continue Reading →
Fear of dying
One day recently I laid down on my bed and took a nap in the middle of the afternoon. I woke up facing the window, enjoying the exact view in the photo above. One of the things I love about the older houses here in Iowa is the lower windows. They sit right at bed... Continue Reading →
Michaela
Before anything else, I want to tell you all that I love you, and I am so very grateful for the love and support you have poured out to my daughter for all these very, very many long, long years. I want to tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement to hold on, to... Continue Reading →
I dreamed I was dying
Last night I had a dream that I was dying. It was a procedure that took several days. Each day I had to take a different set of pills, and then I had to complete a task, and on the fourth day it would be complete, and I would leave this life. One day I... Continue Reading →
Love in the time of Coronavirus
I have been trying to write a blog entry for awhile now, but it has been really hard. These are some crazy times we live in. Not just crazy, actually. They are downright unbelievable. I sometimes do something else, watch a TV series or whatever, and get caught up in it, and then I come back to... Continue Reading →
God still speaks?
I have been talking to God lately. Sometimes, you know, life just brings you to your knees, and this has been such a time for me. All the regular problems and heartaches are there, and then some other things added just for fun. Today is the 16th birthday of my little miniature pinscher, Spike. We... Continue Reading →
It was as if a million voices cried out
I took the photo above on a trip through the detour around the California wildfires last summer. It looked like even the sun was on fire. I didn't live anywhere near the fires, although I did live near enough that the Bay Area was covered with smoke that pushed air quality into hazardous ranges that... Continue Reading →
Facing into the light, facing into the dark
The following is from my previous blog, and was originally published in July 2017. In nine days I will have finished chemotherapy. It has not been nearly what I’d feared it would be. The side effects were subtle. The nausea was fairly easily controlled with medication. I got one mouth sore, and my fingertips cracked... Continue Reading →
November 18th
November 18th, 29 years ago, an eternity and yet a brief moment, marks the last happy, innocent day I spent with you, Michaela. What did we do that day? How could my memory of the day after be so sharp, but that last happy day be washed away? It was the last day of school... Continue Reading →