It was as if a million voices cried out

I took the photo above on a trip through the detour around the California wildfires last summer. It looked like even the sun was on fire. I didn't live anywhere near the fires, although I did live near enough that the Bay Area was covered with smoke that pushed air quality into hazardous ranges that... Continue Reading →

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Walking out of the dark

First of all, let me assure you that I am feeling better. Much, much, much better. So no need to send advice, or to call 911, although prayers are¬†always welcome. But for the last few months I have been trudging through the deepest darkness. I've had my daughter kidnapped. I've had my mother die. I've... Continue Reading →

I apologize, but I just might explode

Okay, I've been a little crabby lately. My new anti-seizure med, keppra, is known for making people irritable and depressed. It took awhile for this side effect to make itself felt. I think as long as things were sailing along in life, it was cool. What I have found to be true about depression, though,... Continue Reading →

Notes from the wilderness

Hello world. I have left my nest of pillows and blankets on the couch and I am sitting at the kitchen table. It's kind of cold here, shivery. But it feels a little more human like. I'm getting tired of recovery from surgery. No, a lot tired of it. It's kind of depressing actually. And... Continue Reading →

Bone deep lonely

I have been driving around town crying this morning. Mornings have just become really difficult for me lately. It is when my mind and emotions spin tales I can't even read, leaving me a soggy mess of emotion. Most of the rest of the day I put them aside, or shove them into boxes of... Continue Reading →

I’m lost too

I have been attending therapy. I have been diagnosed with PTSD now by one medical doctor, two therapists, and one psychiatrist, although I tend to disagree. I think it is more like OTSD, ongoing traumatic stress disorder. I mean, there is nothing "post" about it, is there? Not only is Michaela still gone, she is... Continue Reading →

The journey through grief

Yesterday at church I was introduced to a mother whose 26-year old son had been killed two months ago in an accident. I have felt such a burden to be able to help others who are suffering from grief and loss ... I have been reading widely on the subject, in an attempt to understand... Continue Reading →

Catching Up….

Yes, I am still alive. I apologize because I have not written a blog for almost three months now, and I want to thank all of you who keep visiting anyway. This last summer was a difficult, stressful time. As you know from my last blog, it began with my dog Bella getting cancer and... Continue Reading →

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