Unanswered questions

What do a missing child and metastatic cancer have in common? Unanswered questions. The unknown. I am a person who likes to have information, and to have it now. I want to know what is happening, when, where, and why. Just ask my kids. They are all adults now -- the youngest will be 27... Continue Reading →

Thoughts about dying

For the most part, having cancer is something that hangs out in the background of my mind, shadowing but not a part of my life. It's not a problem in the present, except in the efforts to keep it from becoming a problem in the future. Even that, I have certain specific fears. I fear... Continue Reading →

Oncologist tomorrow

I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, and I would really like to ask if you would all please pray for wisdom for my doctor. I have a very difficult cancer. Lobular breast cancer does not show up well on scans. What I have showed up in a bump in a conspicuous place I... Continue Reading →

Missing Michaela

This morning, before I was really awake, at the trailing end of a dream, the thought came to me that I should finish writing my book, Missing Michaela. Now I did finish this manuscript once, 25 years ago. But I look back on the world and myself then, and, well, it's like looking back on... Continue Reading →

Visions in scary places

I actually consider myself to be a painfully left brained person. I write, I draw, I paint, but I do it very realistically. I have not been able to break free of drawing from a photo or real life, and most of the writing I have done in my life has been logical, persuasive writing.... Continue Reading →

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother's Day to everyone out there who has been brave enough to take on this most important, most joyful, most heartbreaking job in the world. We actually celebrated yesterday, because that was the day when all of us were able to be together. The photo above is actually of the flowers my grandson gave... Continue Reading →

What I Am NOT Looking For

Spring has sprung here in Iowa. They say it's nice to live in a place with four seasons, and here you can have all four of them in a couple of weeks. We actually had an early spring, and beautiful little flowers started growing in our yard. They were like hope. But then the snow... Continue Reading →

Eve

Since you asked (really, you did!), I am still alive. And things are looking up a little bit. Winter was long and hard. It was cold and wet, it was filled with sickness and injuries in my household. I had a major identity crisis, which has alllllmost been resolved. You probably will not believe this,... Continue Reading →

Loss in the shadows

Funny how sometimes you do something, and only afterwards realize that what you were actually doing was something totally different. I know this statement probably makes no sense. But I spent this morning roaming around Lake Chabot looking for my missing kitties. Someone on the street had recently trapped the cats on our street and... Continue Reading →

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