This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people... Continue Reading →
Survival stories
California is burning. Again. Has California burned every year, without me being aware of it? Because for the past few years it has become a thing, a devastating thing for those who experience it. For the rest of us, for me, it has become a twist in the gut, a reminder that life is uncertain,... Continue Reading →
When it hurts
On a recent blog entry, someone finished their comment with, "See you next month!" I had to think about that for a minute. Did someone think I wrote monthly blogs? Then it hit me. It's October. Next month is November. The anniversary of Michaela's kidnapping. Can I tell you how much I don't want to... Continue Reading →
Thoughts after first day of chemo
They finally got me into that chair for my first day of chemo today. It wasn't itself unpleasant. The people who work at Epic Care in Castro Valley are so nice, they of course made it easy. It took a long time, four hours total! I got very tired and could have slept through a... Continue Reading →
What if God's purposes are bigger than your answered prayers?
The title of this blog was taken from a Facebook status posted by the associate pastor of our church. He and his wife are currently experiencing a heartbreaking situation, as she is pregnant with a baby who is not expected to survive more than a few hours after birth. What is in their minds and... Continue Reading →
Breast Cancer Journey: Stuff Gets Real
I had a second surgery this past week. Some of the skin they left after my mastectomy had died and had to be removed. After the surgery was over I posted on Facebook, "I had a great time." The sad thing is, that was true. It says something about your life when surgery is the highlight... Continue Reading →
Notes from the wilderness
Hello world. I have left my nest of pillows and blankets on the couch and I am sitting at the kitchen table. It's kind of cold here, shivery. But it feels a little more human like. I'm getting tired of recovery from surgery. No, a lot tired of it. It's kind of depressing actually. And... Continue Reading →
Breast Cancer Journey: Perhaps I have not taken this seriously enough.
It is eight days now since my mastectomy. It was a modified radical mastectomy, unilateral, according to what my doctor told me at my one week checkup yesterday. That means that in addition to the breast they took a bunch of lymph glands. They biopsied one during surgery and found cancer in it, so they... Continue Reading →
Surgery Tomorrow!
This time tomorrow (8:00 a.m.) I will be in surgery. Today is going to be a busy busy day. I have so much just plain cleaning to do, which I left till the last minute so I wouldn't have to do it over again. I will start with folding the towels, putting the blankies in... Continue Reading →
Breast Cancer: The Journey Begins
I learned this week that I have breast cancer. It has only been a couple of days now, and I think there is still a bit of disbelief. Having breastfed five babies from birth through ages one to three, I suffered from some sort of illusion that this would protect me from breast cancer. My... Continue Reading →