Happy Birthday, Michaela!

Tomorrow is Michaela's birthday. I have struggled mightily with what to do with this day since she has been gone. For some years, I had a group of friends who came to my house, and we would sit in a circle and remember Michaela. But time and tides ended that practice. For years after that... Continue Reading →

Michaela, never forgotten

This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people... Continue Reading →

Michaela

Before anything else, I want to tell you all that I love you, and I am so very grateful for the love and support you have poured out to my daughter for all these very, very many long, long years. I want to tell you how much I appreciate your encouragement to hold on, to... Continue Reading →

Missing Michaela

This morning, before I was really awake, at the trailing end of a dream, the thought came to me that I should finish writing my book, Missing Michaela. Now I did finish this manuscript once, 25 years ago. But I look back on the world and myself then, and, well, it's like looking back on... Continue Reading →

What I Am NOT Looking For

Spring has sprung here in Iowa. They say it's nice to live in a place with four seasons, and here you can have all four of them in a couple of weeks. We actually had an early spring, and beautiful little flowers started growing in our yard. They were like hope. But then the snow... Continue Reading →

When it hurts

On a recent blog entry, someone finished their comment with, "See you next month!" I had to think about that for a minute. Did someone think I wrote monthly blogs? Then it hit me. It's October. Next month is November. The anniversary of Michaela's kidnapping. Can I tell you how much I don't want to... Continue Reading →

Happy Birthday, Michaela

Hey there baby girl. I just wanted to come and say happy birthday to you, just in case you are out there somewhere, in case you remember that today is your birthday, in case you might be checking in here. It was forty years ago today you were born, at 8:13 p.m., the first time... Continue Reading →

What about Michaela?

In just a few months now, it will be the 30th anniversary of Michaela's kidnapping. Two months after that, it will be Michaela's 40th birthday. I am still kind of lost as to what to do about this. The normal, regular thing, tying yellow ribbons on the tree at the market? I don't know. I... Continue Reading →

Dream about Michaela

I do not ever dream about Michaela. But last night I had a dream that touched me deeply. It was odd, and Michaela was both herself and not herself, and the circumstances were different and odd, but it filled my heart. In the dream, I was running around town and I got a call from... Continue Reading →

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