Tomorrow is Michaela's birthday. I have struggled mightily with what to do with this day since she has been gone. For some years, I had a group of friends who came to my house, and we would sit in a circle and remember Michaela. But time and tides ended that practice. For years after that... Continue Reading →
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So many feelings….
What an emotional basket case I have been this morning. The first thing I laid eyes on this morning was a post by a woman I follow on Facebook and Instagram. She is very young and very beautiful and she has metastatic breast cancer. She is a single parent with three kids, ages ten and... Continue Reading →
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I just wanted to write a short note for Christmas. I have received a number of messages of concern for me at this time of year, and I wanted to respond because I know that very many people have suffered losses, especially this year. My first Christmas without Michaela arrived just weeks after we lost... Continue Reading →
Michaela’s case has been solved
I am writing this on Saturday, December 19, 2020. In two days the Hayward Police Department, Alameda County District Attorney, and FBI will announce to the world that after 32 years and 32 days, they have identified and charged Michaela's kidnapper with homicide. They have not found Michaela, but they have identified her kidnapper. He... Continue Reading →
When all that’s left of me is love…
I bought a journal not too long ago, a beautiful one, with gold edged pages, for the purpose of writing messages to my children. I keep a journal, but that's for me to sort out my own thoughts. This one is a gift to my children for when I am no longer here. I wanted... Continue Reading →
Michaela, never forgotten
This is a difficult morning. It started out with a dream in which I was supposed to be giving some public address. I was in a strange place, and for some reason I couldn't shower, or wash my hair, and I had no blow dryer or straightener, so I had this huge bedhead which people... Continue Reading →
A long journey into the future
Today I laid down on the couch. It's been a sleepy day, but once my head was on a pillow, I felt wide awake. So I closed my eyes and just checked in with God. I said, I could talk to you, God, but I'd rather listen, so maybe you could talk to me. Immediately... Continue Reading →
Fear of dying
One day recently I laid down on my bed and took a nap in the middle of the afternoon. I woke up facing the window, enjoying the exact view in the photo above. One of the things I love about the older houses here in Iowa is the lower windows. They sit right at bed... Continue Reading →
Unanswered questions
What do a missing child and metastatic cancer have in common? Unanswered questions. The unknown. I am a person who likes to have information, and to have it now. I want to know what is happening, when, where, and why. Just ask my kids. They are all adults now -- the youngest will be 27... Continue Reading →
No more scripture journeys
I just want to let you know that I am not posting any further scripture journeys, or Bible studies, and I have removed all the ones I did post from this blog. I am absolutely nobody to be undertaking such a venture! I don't know where I am, where I am going, what I really... Continue Reading →