No more scripture journeys

I just want to let you know that I am not posting any further scripture journeys, or Bible studies, and I have removed all the ones I did post from this blog. I am absolutely nobody to be undertaking such a venture! I don’t know where I am, where I am going, what I really believe about all these things. In fact, I reached the point of deciding to just toss it all out.

I was devastated by this, and by the things that brought me to that place. What were those things? Well, the moment I reached that decision I was doing the Beth Moore study on Galatians, and she was talking about the “no other gospel” admonition by Paul, and it just hit me wrong. Some of my questions have to do with the canon of the Bible itself. It’s not as though God wrote this book and dropped it on us from heaven. In fact, a bunch of men, under the auspices of the Roman Emperor Constantine in the third century AD, got together decided which books would be a part of the Bible. And I’ve got to wonder, what were their creds? So here Paul says, if someone comes to you with a gospel other than the one I taught you, don’t receive them. But, well, who decided we should believe Paul instead of the others? Any reading of Acts and the epistles in the New Testament reveals that there were a lot of differences in opinion in the early church.

Then I ran across mean people or unresponsive people in Christian spaces. I have a hard time as it is feeling like I fit into any Christian place. I am socially awkward, regardless of anything else. I have been told that I can’t really serve in a church because of my family members’ lifestyle choices. I have been told that I can’t espouse what I espouse, because that is not what the church believes, and they wouldn’t want people to think that they do because I attend there. I have just had people look at me oddly, avoid me, be unfriendly, because I am so often just too square for the round holes. And I have too many questions, and people get tired of hearing them. I am that wave tossed on an ocean, the vapor in the wind. I am the double minded man, and they don’t want me in their midst. They tried, but I failed. And that hurts.

So I was just going to quit trying. I was going to start from scratch and try to figure out who God is, and what God wants from us, and leave that whole tangled web of Christianity behind. I have entertained other religious beliefs in the past. I am not truly convinced there is only one way. But I felt truly lost. There is that boat I went to in the scarier parts of my cancer treatments, floating on Lake Galilee, where I so often met Jesus, and walked and danced on the water. But now it was just me and the boat. Cast adrift.

Then this morning when I woke up, I picked up my phone and opened Facebook, and with no action on my part, there was a service from a local church in full swing. It was from a denomination that I know to generally be more liberal, and I enjoyed it. At the end of that service, I got a notification that another local church had gone live. I didn’t immediately click on it, but somehow I ended up getting the tail end of it. It was on the passage in Jeremiah, about God being the potter, and us being the clay. And the message at the end, repeated several times, was, “Don’t get off that wheel. Don’t get off that wheel.”

And of course, I thought, that is just like God. I wander off, and God calls me back. Faster this time. Back to what, to where? I don’t know. But I am listening, and I believe in God’s ability to speak.

But I do not need to be teaching anybody, because I don’t know any answers. I will continue to share my journey with you in this place, but I am not going to do anything formal, or promise specific content, because obviously I do not know where my wandering heart and God’s guidance are going to push me.

I was going to say I’m sorry, but I decided that what I really should say is, “you’re welcome.” Let me spare you the errors of my ways.

The first task I am setting myself is not to figure out doctrinal issues. The service that was on my phone when I woke up this morning focused on how we show grace to the world. One example was given of a woman who said she felt called to minister to telemarketers. She said that they get yelled at, sworn at and hung up on all day, so instead, she listened to them kindly. She didn’t buy anything, but she listened. And then she asked them about their lives, and if they had any needs she could pray for. Often they did. Sometimes, they even cried. This sermon moved me to the conviction that this is the purpose God has for me in this world. To love, to learn to love more, to spread love and kindness. I have great, deep, overflowing wells of love that fill me to the point where it is painful. But I don’t always dip into them when I am dealing with the world, with real people. In order to fulfill my purposes in this world, I need to work on this.

The other thing I want to say is that I started that scripture journey blog because I wanted to gather wisdom from others. I still do. So please, leave your comments here. Leave your journeys. You just never know when you will be God’s spokesperson.

So …

Thank you. You are welcome. I love you.

Sharon

24 thoughts on “No more scripture journeys

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  1. Hi Sharon, so sorry you had to stop sharing your spiritual journey on your blog. I always enjoy reading what you have to share. If you do choose to share any further posts at any time I would love to read them. Keeping you and your family always in my prayers. ❤️

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  2. Sharon i love the way you are honest about what you are feeling. You are a very strong women and brave very brave. I admire you for not being fake. Don’t give up don’t give in. I’m sending healing vibes and big hugs,
    Julie

    Liked by 1 person

  3. To love, to learn to love more, to spread love and kindness.

    You said exactly what I feel…. we should all be overflowing wells of love, kindness, grace. And we all have our own journey to take.

    God Bless and thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Sharon, I follow your blog and have contemplated the pain of your life and it is unbearable to me. I am not good at counseling on an emotional level, but I think of myself as an apologist for Christianity, and I would be more than willing to answer or work through any questions that you have about the Bible, church history, church doctrine, etc…I’ve been a Christian since 1981, so I’ve thought about a lot of these issues. I usually debate atheists, but Christians (such as myself) struggle with doubt and need answers too. If you ever feel angry at Christians, I can be a punching bag too. dianalesperance8@gmail.com

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    1. Haha, thank you but I don’t want to punch you so I won’t even bring up anything that could make me want to! Honestly my biggest problem with Christianity is the exclusivity, that it is the “only way.” I’ve been a Christian since 1973 and have read and studied a lot, and have read and listened to a lot of apologetics, and I find there are always questions behind the answers. Like I know how the Bible came to be formed, but what is the basis for accepting that the people involved in that got it right?

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      1. I think the basis for accepting that the people involved got it right is;
        1. Putting in mind that God’s word was written under the inspiration of his Holy Spirit 2Peter 1;20-21. If that be the case, then, even under emperor Constantine, God being Sovereign,He did guide the people.

        2. Scripture interprets scripture. The books they agreed on to make the cannon, are they coherent with one another? Yes they are. Are the different books that have made what we now call the bible written by the same authors? No they aren’t. Were they written around the same period? No they weren’t.

        My thoughts.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Are you asking how the final decision was made (as to what to include in the scriptures) and why that specific group of people thought they had the authority to make that determination?

    If you’re asking about the New Testament, it was more of a process over time. The writings of the apostles were included because they were eyewitness accounts and Jesus promised in 14:26 that he would send a Helper, “the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.“ So the New Testament is a compilation of the memories of the disciples and the letters and teachings they sent to the different churches. Paul also became an apostle because he had an encounter with Jesus on the road to Damascus which revolutionized his life. (He went from murdering Christians to becoming one himself.) Paul was a Pharisee and knew the Old Testament, and even though he once rejected Christ, his eyes were opened to see how Jesus fulfilled the Law and the Prophets. He lived contemporaneously with the other disciples and gained their trust. He even called out Peter for siding with the Jews and the law concerning circumcision — and prevailed.

    There were many other attempts to create other gospels (such as the Gospel of Thomas or the Gospel of Mary), but they lacked three important necessities: 1) They weren’t approved by the disciples (or Paul). 2) Their content was mystical in nature and was rooted in dreams or visions (rather than in historical reality). 3) The dreams and visions recorded had no basis in the Old Testament scriptures (which created a unity that proved Jesus was the Messiah). But the book of Revelations is a dream or vision (you might protest)! There is a great difference. The Gospel of Mary sounds like this: “They asked the soul, Whence do you come slayer of men, or where are you going, conqueror of space?

    21) The soul answered and said, What binds me has been slain, and what turns me about has been overcome,

    22) and my desire has been ended, and ignorance has died.

    23) In a aeon I was released from a world, and in a Type from a type, and from the fetter of oblivion which is transient.

    24) From this time on will I attain to the rest of the time, of the season, of the aeon, in silence.”

    There is no reference to any OT scripture. Instead, it’s a Gnostic revelation of the type that was forbidden by the apostle John in 1 John 1. The words in the book of Revelation, on the other hand, are almost all referenced back to an OT scripture. Just a simple example: “Then the angel took the censer and filled it with fire from the altar and threw it on the earth, and there were peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning, and an earthquake.” —Rev. 12:10 This is a reference back to many OT scriptures like this: “The voice of the Lord is over the waters; the God of glory thunders, the Lord, over many waters. The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.” — Psalm 29:3. Nearly every verse in Revelations has parallel verses in other parts of the scriptures. The fact that it was written by one of Jesus’ disciples and wasn’t based on a mystical Gnostic dream, and it WAS consistent with other scriptures gave it an authority that another dream or vision might not have.

    The Gospel of Thomas doesn’t meet the test of authority either because the sayings conflict with the writings of the other four gospels (meaning the Holy Spirit didn’t give him the remembrance) and it has a mixture of the sayings of Jesus, but some just seem to be nonsensical. For example, It doesn’t seem like women have to become men somehow in order to enter the kingdom, but the Gospel of Thomas says, “Simon Peter said to him, “Let Mary leave us, for women are not worthy of life.” Jesus said, “I myself shall lead her in order to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every woman who will make herself male will enter the kingdom of heaven.”

    I say all this to show that the process of determining authority wasn’t as difficult as it might seem. They followed a few common sense rules and determined that the canon should include writings that followed those rules (apostolic authority, based on historical reality, rather than mystical dreams and visions, and revealing a unity with the other scriptures.

    I have no idea if I answered your question or if I said things you already know! I just know, for me, it helped to see examples of what was rejected—and I think it makes sense.

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    1. First, your answer is wonderful. It is well thought out, contains a lot of specific information I didn’t know, and I really appreciate it. It answers some of my questions, and raises a few others, but they are nitpicking and not of great importance. I was a paralegal before I retired, and excelled at writing motions, briefs, and responses, so I am nitpicking by nature!

      Honestly, my single biggest problem is the exclusivity. In the Old Testament, for God to have chosen one single solitary nation out of all the peoples of the world seems a bit unfair. In the New Testament, for Jesus to be the “only way,” for the notion that salvation is based solely on believing that Jesus existed, and that his death paid the price for our sins, THIS I have a problem with. I could talk about all the good, loving people I know who don’t offer intellectual assent to Jesus, and I could also talk about all the hateful people who presumably fall under this grace. I know, the Bible says that they will be saved but “as through fire.” Or there is Matthew 25:31+, which indicates they might not be saved at all. But the exclusivity just does not sit well with my spirit. I’m sure you get that. And honestly, within my own faith, I CAN say that I don’t understand everything, and we don’t know everything, and trust in God for his goodness and love. Or I could believe, as so many in the evolving faith movement teach, that the books of the Bible were written by specific people for specific people, which could open it up to a million possibilities.

      I think that where I really ran into a problem was when I started trying to write in this blog about what I was reading in the Bible, because while I can tuck it away in my own mind and trust God, to have to write about it to other people, to try to justify it to other people, was a task I was not up to. How could I say, “This is my God, and I am his, but because you don’t believe in him, you are going to hell.” Or never mind hell, because I can bypass that with Gehenna. But, well, I’m sure you get what I’m saying.

      In one of the blogs I deleted, I talked about having a dream about my dad. He’d been dead for many years at that time. Let’s just tuck this away in a comment in my blog, but he was a child molester, so I had mixed feelings about him and didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about him or his eternal state. And I had never dreamed about him, not before or since. But then I went to church, and the pastor was talking about his own dad, who had been troubled and who had not been a Christian when he died, and my pastor told a story whose details I don’t recall about how he had received assurance about his dad’s eternal state, and that story coming right after I had woken up from a dream about my own dad just seemed like a direct answer to a question I had not asked.

      I have a lot of other little questions as well, but this is the big one. When I was a young Christian it was good to me that I was chosen, even if the rest of the world was not, but as I have grown older and have come to know the rest of the world, I just can’t abide that.

      Thank you so much for offering your knowledge and wisdom!

      Like

      1. I hope this addresses some of your questions. If it’s too long, don’t read it. Ha! I just offer it up to you.
        The main reason for the exclusivity of Jesus is because there is a universal system of justice. In this system, everyone will stand before Jesus and have to give an account for their life. The problem is that everyone of us is guilty. We have all fallen short. Does this mean we are all left without hope?
        No! Why? Because God devised a plan for our salvation.
        The prophets Ezekiel and Isaiah explained that Lucifer rebelled against God, and that 1/3 of the angels went with him. When that happened, God could have responded by destroying Satan and his rebels, but then the whole universe would be living in a fearful relationship with an angry God. The other option was to let Satan go, without consequence, and just let sin spread like a cancer throughout the universe. God seemed to be stuck. Both options seemed to leave him no way out. But God came up with a third way: The Message of the Lamb.
        The entire message of the Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is the message of the Lamb. The first time we see reference to an animal sacrifice was after Adam and Eve sinned. They were naked and tried to cover themselves with fig leaves, but God took innocent animals and sacrificed them, using their furs to cover Adam and Eve (Gen. 3:21). After that, Cain and Abel offered sacrifices to God, but Cain’s sacrifice of vegetables was rejected because (as Hebrews 11:4 says) Abel’s was a better sacrifice…since it pointed to the Lamb. The imagery of the Lamb was used in the story of the Exodus also. Its blood was shed and placed on the doorposts in a way that would point to the future Cross of Christ. Any person who was under the blood would be protected from the Death Angel. As the Israelites were led on their Exodus out of Egypt and into the promised land, they worshiped a Golden Calf, but God was angry because it wasn’t a blood sacrifice, it was an image of a god created out of the hands of men.
        When God gave Moses the Law, he told the Israelites to incorporate blood sacrifices as a way to atone for their sins. The only way a priest could enter the Holy of Holies (where God’s presence was found) was by first offering a blood sacrifice on the altar. He also instituted Feasts which would help them (and their offspring) to always remember how God rescued them from Egypt. The primary feast is the Feast of Passover—again commemorating the importance of the blood of a lamb. The prophet Isaiah also foretold of a coming Messiah who would go like a Lamb to the slaughter. He would be “pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that bought us peace was upon him (vs. 5).”
        The Bible is set apart from all other religious documents because it correctly foretold all the details of the coming Messiah’s life. No other religion has ANY prophetic accuracy in their sacred writings. The prophet Daniel even foretold the EXACT day that the Messiah would appear to Israel (https://thefaithfulchurch.com/2012/05/14/daniels-prophecy-of-the-70-weeks/). The Old Testament foretold the city he would be born in (Bethlehem: Micah 5:2), the family he would descend from (the Root of Jesse: Isa. 11:10, the offspring of David: Rev. 22:16), that he would be crucified (or “pierced”: Isa. 53:5, Zech. 12:10), that he would be betrayed (for thirty pieces of silver: Zech. 11:12), and HUNDREDS of other predictions that have already been fulfilled. (There are still more to be fulfilled in the future.)
        Moving from the Old Testament to the New Testament, when Jesus was born, the angels proclaimed the Messianic announcement to shepherds keeping watch in the field. They were told that they would find Jesus in a manger, and as a sign, he would be wrapped in swaddling clothes (Luke 2:12). This would have great significance to the shepherds because Bethlehem was the place where lambs were prepared for the temple sacrifice. (It’s right outside of Jerusalem, where the temple was located.) Baby lambs were wrapped in swaddling clothes after they were born so that they would not wobble around and fall down, getting injured. The law required that sacrificial lambs be without spot or blemish (Numb. 28:11, 29:17). What the shepherds saw in that rural barn was a little lamb (Jesus) being prepared for sacrifice.
        When John the Baptist first saw Jesus, he proclaimed, “Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!” He knew the purpose of Christ’s coming. And Jesus confirmed his purpose when, during the Last Supper, he proclaimed that it was his body and blood that was given for humanity. The writer of Hebrews explained that the reason for the sacrifice was to reconcile, or make peace, between God and man, and that we can “have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus (Heb. 10:19).”
        The reason for the exclusivity of Jesus is that only Jesus was a sacrificial lamb who died in our place. The primary purpose of Christ’s life wasn’t to give us an ethical system to live by (although the Bible does provide that). No. It was to transfer the sins of the world on to himself, so he could pay for them on our behalf. The book of Revelations declares this: “You are worthy to take the scroll and to open its seals, because you were slain, and with your blood you purchased men for God . . . (vs. 5:9).”
        On the road to Damascus, Cleopas and his friend were walking, and a stranger came up to them. They were discussing the death of Jesus and all the events surrounding his crucifixion. They were downcast, but the stranger (Jesus), beginning with Moses and all the prophets “explained to them what was said in all the scriptures concerning himself (Luke 24:25-27).” During dinner, Jesus opened their eyes to be able to see him and then he disappeared. After this, they asked each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the scriptures to us (vs. 32)?” Jesus said that he came to “fulfill the law and the prophets (Luke 24:44).” Becoming the sacrificial lamb is just ONE of the ways he did this!
        Why was a blood sacrifice necessary? Christopher Hitchens seemed to think this pointed to the barbaric nature of the Hebrew God, but I believe it paints a completely opposite picture of God. The blood sacrifice was the only way that God could make the payment for sin HIMSELF. As a judge (John 5:22), he couldn’t justly demand that another pay for the sins of others, but he could pay it himself. Jesus (as part of the Godhead) took the sins of the world on himself. He was forsaken by God and died, but the prophet Zechariah revealed what happened for those three days when Jesus was dead in the grave. He said that Joshua (the Hebrew name for Jesus!) was standing in filthy clothes before the angel of the Lord. Satan was standing next to Jesus, accusing him, but the angel rebuked Satan and called Jesus a “burning stick snatched from the fire (vs. 3:2).” Because Jesus was sinless, he had unjustly died. (The “wages of sin is death” – Rom. 6:23.) So instead of being tossed into hell, Jesus was snatched away from the impending judgment. Therefore, the angel had the dirty clothes taken off Jesus and replaced them with clean clothes. The prophecy said that Joshua was told that if he walked in God’s ways, he would govern the household of God and be given charge of the courts. The vision of Zechariah the prophet (written hundreds of years before Jesus was born) was completed with these words: “’I am going to bring my servant, the Branch. See, the stone I have set in front of Joshua! There are seven eyes on that one stone, and I will engrave an inscription on it,’ says the Lord Almighty.” The inscription said, “and I will remove the sin of this land in a single day (Zech. 3:9).” The penalty for sin was paid, but because Jesus was found innocent of sin in the universal court of law, he should not have died! Therefore, he was resurrected from the dead.
        To many people this may sound like a mythological story, but even most ardent atheists admit Jesus existed. There’s just too much extrabiblical evidence (https://thefaithfulchurch.com/2013/05/31/did-jesus-exist-a-response-to-www-jesusneverexisted-com/). Many people who tried to set out to disprove the resurrection were astounded by how much evidence there is that Jesus was raised from the dead. (The Harvard law professor, Simon Greenleaf, is just one example, of many, who thought he could disprove Christ’s resurrection, and instead became a passionate Christian.)
        For our part, all God requires is that we turn away from our past sins, by faith receive Christ’s covering for them, and try to live a life of faithful obedience in the future. (This is why God said, “To obey is better than sacrifice [1 Sam. 15:22, Prov. 21:3].”)
        Hebrews 6:1 tells us that the first of the foundational truths of Christianity is that of repentance from dead works, that is, religious works that have no power or meaning to God. When other religions demand that its followers wash in the Ganges River, burn incense, connect with a mystical force in the universe through ascetic efforts, make pilgrimages, or follow certain religious laws and rituals, God calls these works filthy menstrual rags (Isa. 64:6) in comparison to the precious blood of his Son. This is why Jesus alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life and no man comes to the Father except through him.
        I thank God that he cares about justice. I’m so glad that there is accountability for sin and pride. The sins and evil actions of people pile up, waiting for the time of judgment and wrath. Fearfully, all of us deserve that wrath. And yet, because God loved us, he provided a costly, precious, and just way for us to be forgiven. He lost his Son. But through the death of Jesus, Satan was defeated, and all of creation now has a way to be reconciled to a God—who must remain holy—and to live with him without sin or fear. The ancient message of the Lamb reveals to the universe that God’s laws are just, that his judgment on Satan is just, and his gracious love for his creation is true. He truly is worthy of our allegiance and love!
        “’And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away (Rev. 21:3-4).’”

        Bless you, Sharon.

        Diana

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, thank you for taking the time to write that all down. I am aware of most of what you mentioned. I’m not sure it satisfies my desire for justice, but honestly I’m not sure that’s possible. I have been doing a study in Galatians, and I keep stumbling over the explanation of the law and the promise, and if no one can be saved by the law, then why put it in place for all those years? I have been asking these questions for years, and I have been studying the Bible for most of the last 46 years. If there is an answer, I think God is going to have to give me a revelation. But I really, really do thank you for trying! That you care enough to do that is very moving. ❤️

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      3. When Jesus said he “fulfilled the law” there was an intentional purpose behind it which would give evidence for the existence of God. If you would, indulge me by allowing me to post a link to one of my website posts entitled: “Extraterrestrial Contact and Evidence for the Faith” which can be found here: https://thefaithfulchurch.com/2019/10/31/extraterrestrial-contact-and-evidence-for-the-faith/. Perhaps it will be nothing new to you, but I just toss it out there. I’m a sci-fi freak, and I was reading “Contact” by Carl Sagan and I began to think about why God communicated to humanity through the Jewish people and their law and prophets. Blessings, Sharon. I hope you find what you’re looking for. — Diana ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey Sharon,

    Thank you for always being honest about how you feel every step of the way. I am encouraged to be real every time i read your blog.
    I am sad that you won’t be sharing the scripture journeys that you were doing because, “I do not need to be teaching anybody, because I don’t know any answers.”
    Also the encounter with mean people or unresponsive people in Christian spaces…

    1.I do not think you were seeking to teach theology to people neither were you seeking to give answers(you had put that across on the very first blog when you asked those willing to take up the journey to let you know). You wanted to share things you were learning during your bible reading and what you felt convicted that God was speaking to you about.

    2. As you have clearly stated in your writings before, Christianity is not about following Christians but Christ. I don’t see why then mean people and unresponsive ones would lead you to quit on your sharing. Would you please consider the many others that are encouraged by you sharing your scripture journeys and even challenged to actually read the Bible for themselves?

    3. Your doubts- I pray for you, followers of Christ and MYSELF that even in these many doubts that Christ would help us know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in his death(Philippians 3:10)

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    1. I wrote about this in a response to Diana, but right up front in going through what I was reading in the Bible, I ran up against some things in Scripture that I have a hard time answering, and I just didn’t feel up to the task. Honestly, it was quite a task to set for myself to read so many chapters in a week and write about them. I will still write about my spiritual journey, I am just not setting out specific weekly readings to discuss. I was also doing two online Bible studies, and it did overwhelm me.

      As for the mean people in Christian places, I just have to confess that I am a weenie. I feel rejection deeply, particularly within Christianity. It isn’t that some Christians are mean people. For sure, they are, and I think they will receive their just admonition, but that doesn’t hurt me. But when they directly attack me, or reject me, that hurts. And it also makes me feel like I don’t belong in a place where I already feel like I don’t belong. I hope that makes sense.

      I will try to remain sensitive to hearing God. In the past he has let me wander pretty far afield before coming after me. This time it was an immediate and dramatic calling back. I’m in a new place, half a continent away from my home and my friends. And we are in the middle of a plague, and I am high risk, so I am afraid to go out. But I really do long for a spiritual home, “my tribe,” so whenever anyone tells me I don’t belong, it is hurtful. I recently sent a message on Facebook to a local church I have been watching online, basically saying I wanted to talk to them to see if I could belong. I did not receive a personal response. Instead the pastor talked about having received messages from someone who was interested in the church, and stating that they could watch the services and see what they were about, and figure it out. But I wasn’t asking about the church. I KNOW about the church. I was baptized many years ago in a church of the same faith. I know who they are. But I wanted them to know who I am before I invested myself. So, I guess I got my answer.

      Sorry, I feel like I am running on and whining. Thank you for your response, and for caring. I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Sharon,

    My wife and I have a saying…. Christians eat their own. More correctly, Christian organizations/churches eat their own.
    We are, and have been, Christians since the late 70’s and have seen the best and worst it has to offer…but have not seen everything, no not by a long shot. I have come to understand and believe that what man calls Religion is really legalism, not at all what God has in mind for us in a personal relationship. Going through many of the major denominations, I found that each seems to hold their own legalism congruent with the word of God. No, they don’t say so out loud, but their actions do.

    All of this is “noise”, is something to distract us away from the Lord. We all have those same questions… how can we believe the bible, how do we know it is complete, how can there be only one way? Hmmm, I can hear Satan whispering in the background…”Yea, hath God said?” Answers each of us must wrestle with and ultimately come to a workable conclusion.

    I pray for you and your journey. No, I am not disciplined enough to do it everyday, but I have done so through the years… the years since, well you know.

    Your questioning is common to the human condition, something we all deal with, but your path makes it a bit more highlighted now that at this late stage of life, the doubts should come and come so very strong!

    I don’t have any words of wisdom, I don’t like the cutesy sayings and all of the little quips that are often quoted in times like these. But I do believe this, God did not bring you this far to drop you on your ass; alone and without Him. That is not in His nature.

    I will plug one bible teacher that we have stayed with through the years, Chuck Missler. Yes, he has made mistakes, yes, he has been arrogant and yes, he has been wrong, but I have found his teachings have been the most challenging as they come from a deep faith, born through personal tragedy and trails. He approaches his faith intellectually.

    Let me wrap up. Your road ahead may appear to be short, or shortened, but you still have work to do young lady. So buckle up, He has an adventure ahead for you, the investigation as to who He is, His nature and how we can believe in Him! Yup, you are tired and discouraged. Yup. you are sick of this game. Yup, you are ready to lay down one last time and not get up…exactly where he wants you in order to get your full attention.

    David Sant

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