That state of the Investigation

Sorry to do this to you, but the blog entry about the status of the investigation can be found at Seeker’s Road, link:
Thank you.
And Michaela, this excerpt is for you: 
Honestly, I have come to the point of being able to live with this, with the eternally unsolved crime. I have never felt this driving need for “justice.” I’ve had concern for the safety of other children with a kidnapper on the loose, but I’m just not looking to punish “the monster.” That means pretty much nothing to me. The only thing I really want to know is what happened to Michaela, and the reason I want to know that is because I want to be certain that my daughter is not suffering right now, this minute, because if she is, I need to help her. That is my sole concern. That I why I keep blogs, why I reach out to her.
That, and the fact that whether she is alive physically or not, I want to keep her alive in this world. It has been almost thirty years, but people still know her, people still love her. They have not forgotten her. And that is important to me. I’ve said it many times, but Michaela was a bright and shining light in this world, and as long as she is not here to shine that light, I will carry it for her. That is the only thing I can do, and I will do it.
The investigation is what it is: a huge, tangled, complex beast. Unraveling it and taming it is the task at hand. For me, the task is different and it is pretty simple. It is to love Michaela, to remember her, to keep her alive in the hearts and minds of people around the world. At its depths, my task is to honor the gift that Michaela is to the world by offering it myself. The horror, the outrage, the thirst for justice or revenge, they are just not part of me. They are not why I am here. I am here for love, for faith, for purpose. I am here to walk this path on which fate has planted my feet, and always on that path I am holding my daughter’s hand and we are smiling at each other. Always, my heart swells with her presence.
I love you, Michaela.

13 thoughts on “That state of the Investigation

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  1. Dear, SharonYou are beautiful woman inside out Sharon just like my mother. You have a wonderful heart full of love even though I have never seen you in person I can feel it. And if Michaela is reading this blog I’m sure she feels the love where ever she is. Michaela is so lucky because not very many missing children has a mother that is continually reaching out to them. Despite the fact it’s been more than two decades, and you may not be getting a response from her know that if she ever resurfaces she will be so greatful you didn’t give up on her. Sincerely, Zahra


  2. Never will forget her. I’ve been reading this blog for just over 5 years now and hope one day you get to find out what happened to her. I can’t imagibe what it must be like. Never knowing. If that happened to my kid I would think about it all the time. Where is she? Just gone no answers. Here then not. Here but where. Why???? Not a day would go by when it doesn’t feel like my heart drops into my stomach because it’s all I think about. I do hope you get answers someday.


  3. Who knows? They have 5000 leads from the first year so I’m sure he was looked at. There were so many leads that “nobody was ruled out unless they were dead or in jail” that day. With so many leads it was difficult to beat the truth out of each story though.


  4. I guess you heard that they found the body of Lindsey Baum. So very sad but at least the family has some closure. I miss the dear michaela site.


  5. Yes I did hear, and it is very sad. I had previously kept several blogs, but I wanted to put them all in one place, so I chose Also because of quirks and user unfriendliness at google, I have several times feared Dear Michaela would be wiped out, and I’m still not 100 percent confident that it won’t. A lot of things have become very difficult for me as well, but that’s another matter. Being the mother of a child who is missing for 30 years is not easy. 😕


  6. the dear michaela site was only about michaela and kept her memory alive. this new site I feel is only about your life and problems. no disrespect intended.


  7. Yes, it is apparent that there are people who only want to read about Michaela, which is why I kept separate blogs. However, Michaela taught me huge lessons about love and loss, and those are lessons life has continued to teach me in having stage 3 breast cancer, and other adventures. If you look at the home page of Seeker’s Road you will see a quote that sums it up, “Tell the story of the mountain you climbed. Your words could become a page in someone else’s survival guide.” That is the purpose in my writing, that is the road Michaela set me on and I continue on it today. Perhaps if you read the home page, and maybe even the blog entries, you will understand. If not, that is fine. But for me, I’m not telling people my problems. I’m reaching out to people suffering from cancer, to people afraid of death, even and especially to people afraid to love because of its ultimate cost. That is a major reason why I tell Michaela’s story as I well.


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