Laying out seashells

I am just here to write a brief entry. I have a longer one that I have been working on for a few weeks now, but I am having technology problems. I have switched from using a computer to using an ipad, and I find that once a blog on blogger reaches a certain length, the page starts dancing around, making it impossible to type on it any longer! Blogger also doesn’t seem to be able to access my photos after 2014! I have another blog on WordPress which doesn’t have these problems, and I wish I could move this whole thing over there, but I don’t know that is a good idea. I will have to track down my computer and see if I can figure these things out.

Meanwhile, I just wanted to say hello. My grandson Theo, (your nephew, Michaela) is in love with the movie Finding Dory. I think I have watched it dozens of times in the last month! The story is about a fish who has “short term remembory loss,” who at a very young age gets caught in an undertow and is separated from her family. She can’t find her way home because she can’t remember where that is, or even who her parents are. She just knows that she misses them. Through her childhood and into adulthood she searches for her family, finally finding them when she gets enough of a glimmer in her memory to pinpoint a location.

What touches me in this movie is that when Dory was a baby fish, her family came up with the idea of laying out a row of shells she could use to find her home, since she couldn’t remember the way. When she found her parents, they appeared with fins full of shells, because even all those years later they were laying out rows of shells in every direction to help her find her way home. They had never given up on her, as she had never given up on them.

These blog entries, Michaela, are my shells, and I need to never stop laying them in the sand, not until I know you are home, whether here in this life or beyond it. And perhaps you need to remember, like Dory did. Perhaps seeing these shells will trigger a memory for you, as it did for her. Regardless of technology, cancer, or all the many things that go on in the world, I need to remember to keep putting these shells down for you, Michaela. However many I have laid in the past, I never know when I might put down the right one that will get your attention.

I love you forever, baby girl. ❤️

16 thoughts on “Laying out seashells

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  1. This breaks my heart.i can't even imagine the pain you feel missing your baby. When she went missing I was 13 yrs old and our choir class went to a studio with a gentleman and sang a song called Please Let the Children Go. It was bcuz of your daughter that he wrote that song.


  2. Praying for your daughters safe return home I know this has been very hard on you as her mother . I remember my father getting pulled over by the police in Fremont because they were thinking I was your daughter as I was the same age as your daughter and looked very similar to her. Now that I have a daughter I always think of yours and what could happen and what shouldn't of happened her story is told to my daughter for her protection. We all pray for your safe return home Michaela.


  3. You are such a loving mom. I pray that God will hold her in the palm of his hand until she comes home to you. We will not forget about u Michaela. Hugs and prayer for you.Cathy Phillips sister to Missing Maria Bernadette Aldridge age 17 in 1968.


  4. I remember when this happened. This just didn't happen at that time. You could send your babies out to play and not worry about them. You knew that when the street lights came on all would be right with the world and all would be home safe and sound. I think of you and yours often. Always hopeful that I will see something in the news that she made it home. The time will come soon that evil will be gone and only happiness will fill the earth. If you aren't reunited before then, it will happen. God promises us that our happiness will outweigh or sadness so much that we won't even think of the bad anymore. He promises more than an abundance of exquisite delight.My prayers are with you and your family including Robbie wherever she may be


  5. I remember that terrible day well. I was a young mom with a 4 year-old son and 7 year old daughter living nearby in San Lorenzo. The story made me so sad and I feared for my children. I prayed for Michaela's safe return then and for you and her family. I continue to pray.


  6. I have following been Michaela's story for a very long time. Someone that may not know the details may think that she is no longer with us. As that may be the case, there is a great possibility that she is still alive. I follow all of the missing children cases that are on the web. At least the ones from long ago. As you know, there have been sightings of Michaela in the UAE. Or at least someone who thinks they saw her there. Not to mention the information about her being taken to Mexico by Herwig. All these things give hope to Michaela being alive and well. Some of missing children cases like Morgan Nick haven't had any updates. At least ones that were published. Her mom does not keep a blog like you so maybe that is why. I really feel that Morgan is not here anymore but I really feel that Michaela may be. The Lyon sisters were never seen since the day they vanished and they are deceased. Morgan has never been seen but there are reports of Michaela still being alive. I don't know how to help you help her if she is out there but if she is she most likely doesn't have a clue who she really is. Or she may be happy and doesn't want to risk losing her life. Look at Jaycee. She was well aware that she was kidnapped and did nothing to save herself and her children. If it wasn't for Garrido being stupid she would have never been found. I hope someday that circumstances change and someone will lead the police to Michaela. I think that is her only hope if she is alive.


  7. Dear, Anonymous I agree with you I have a feeling Michaela is still alive also. She was abducted at a very young age and was for sure brainwashed and is afraid to do anything even though she is a adult now. Fear is a very strong with Jaycee she was so afraid of that stun gun when Garrido threatened to use it on her if she didn't obey him. Even though he never used it again. Not only that at the parole office she didn't want to tell the officers her real name. So yes it's really a possibility that she thinks like the same nine year old innocent child and believes what her abducter tells her. One question keeps bothering me is how was it possible to take her to the UAE doesn't she need a passport to go over seas? It's a strong possibility her abducter is still alive and may be even resides in the Bay Area amongst everyone. It could take just one small tip to crack this case. Michaela if you are reading this do not be afraid you did not do anything to cause this to happen to you. You were just being a kid and someone for what ever reason decided to take you away from you lovely mother. Know that there is nothing you can't overcome so please if indeed you have access to this blog communicate with your mother let her know you are here ask for help and watch your life take a positive turn. As always I pray for your safe return.Sincerely Zahra


  8. There are many ways to get a child out of the country besides commercial air. I remember someone commenting that while shipments into the US were pretty well monitored, shipments out were not. And if you have money it is all the more easy.I have also thought that if Michaela was in the UAE, it would be likely she would have children. I know I would never leave my children, not for all the freedom in the world, not for my mother or anyone else.


  9. There is something that I do not understand. If Helwig's girlfriend said she saw Michaela and Amber and had earrings and a shirt like Michaela's then why wasn't she held accountable and questioned more or even arrested. I am sorry but you have to be really stupid or a liar not to wonder why little girls were passing through. This woman had to know more than she was telling. If she was afraid to say anything she could have spoken up after Helwig died. I really believe there is more to this story. I wish they would have checked into it further. Many kidnapped kids could have been found in the days after the kidnapping if leads and suspects were followed up on sooner. The Lyon sisters may be alive today if the police would have followed up on the main suspect. When they questioned him the girls were still alive. They could have been saved if police would have looked further. It took 40 years for someone to reinvestigate and realize that he was most likely the kidnapper. I read that children who are trafficked are not always taken for sex. They are taken for labor. I really hope if Michaela was trafficked she was taken for this as this is the lesser of the two evils and may have given her a better chance for survival.


  10. Dear, Sharon Thank you for the explanation this had always made me wonder. Yes as mother I myself would never leave my child for the world. Michaela you are a US citizen it will not be hard for you to bring your child or children to America if that's what holding you back from reaching out to your mother. Your mom needs you to be by her side she is dealing with breast cancer. Come home sweet Michaela please.Sincerely Zahra


  11. That is not true Zahra. The father would have to give permission. Women have little authority over their children. And if it is a matter of having to escape captivity it might be impossible to do that with children for a number of reasons.


  12. Anonymous I don't know what happened to Helwig's girlfriend. Although there have certainly been times things have not been done on Michaela's case as I'd like, I am not a fan of assuming that the police haven't done their job. Most of the time they have put their heart and soul into it.


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