This time tomorrow (8:00 a.m.) I will be in surgery. Today is going to be a busy busy day. I have so much just plain cleaning to do, which I left till the last minute so I wouldn’t have to do it over again. I will start with folding the towels, putting the blankies in the dryer, and another load of bedding in the washer. I have instructions to sleep in clean sheets tonight. I am still trying to figure out how to keep my bedding clean, since I sleep with four small dogs, and since they live in my bed during the day as well. I’m a bit of a germphobe, so this is a particular challenge for me. But, anyway.
Next I am going to get my toes done. I have given up the manicures, as much as I loved them, because the time and money are just not going to be available for them. But my toes are difficult, and feet so naturally unattractive, they need help. Plus I have to look at them all the time, spread out on the bed in front of me, as they are now.
This afternoon I have to go get an injection of radioactivity into my lymph glands. I assume this is to make me glow in the dark, you know, just in case the lights go out during surgery.
And at the end of the day, I have to actually try to get to sleep early, because I have to check into the hospital at 6 a.m.!!! Well, at least we should get good parking.
I will admit I am a little nervous, but mostly I am excited to just get this over with finally and move into the next phases. I am not going to lie, that final phase a few months down the road, where I get brand new perky boobs, is a great motivator. I saw a dress today with a low back, and I thought, hey, I might actually be able to wear something like that in the future. Never, ever in my life, even when I was young and before children, could I ever have thought of something like that.
I am finally beginning to see ahead of this thing. I am beginning to look forward to summer, when hopefully all the treatments and surgeries will be over, when I will be cancer free, and healthier than ever. It is beginning to feel a bit like an awakening, that at this point in my life, instead of winding down I will be winding up for a whole new chapter.
Meanwhile, I have a few mountains to climb, and my first steps are in this surgery tomorrow. My husband and my daughter will be going with me to the hospital with me. And when I let go of their hands to go into surgery, you can bet I will be reaching out to grab another hand, one that bids me come, walk on the water, and tells the waves around me, “Peace. Be still.”
I will post again in a few days, to let you know how things are going.
Thanks for your support. Love you all!