New Life: A Respite

Last Thursday my youngest daughter gave birth to a baby boy. And for a few days now I have not been anything but a grandmother in love with her new grandson. I will get back to other things in awhile, but for the moment, they bounce off me as I am enveloped in the happiness of new love. People want to engage me about things going on with the search for you, Michaela, and I want to shrug them off. Leave me alone. Let me have my island of pure joy please. I don’t want to hear about searches or digs. I don’t want to hear about death. I only want to embrace life. Just for a moment. Please.

This is not to say, Michaela, that you have been forgotten in any of this. You were even there in the labor and delivery room, as I suffered along with my daughter through an unmedicated birth, as I wondered if you had given birth in the time you have been gone, and I grieved that if you had, I had not been able to be there to hold your hand or rub your back, as I was doing with your youngest sister, the one you have never met.

But for now, for this moment, I hope you don’t mind if I take a few days off from the grief, from the scratching and clawing my way through the frustration of trying to find you. I hope you don’t mind that for awhile I will cast off the blanket of sadness and I will fully embrace the joy of this season of new life. I will get back to the business of finding you, but this is like finding a small garden with a padded bench on which to rest in the middle of a decades long climb up a mountain.

I love you, Michaela. I love you forever. Wherever you are, rejoice with us, and with little baby Theo. Life affirms life.

mom

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7 thoughts on “New Life: A Respite

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  1. Please heal yourself for a few days … then resume your journey , lobby for stronger pedophile laws, predator monitoring schemes. We need a Michaela.s law which strictly monitors child sex offenders and maximizes penalty to atleast 30 years to life for child kidnappers . Most off all we need to find Michaela and execute her kidnapper , the search must NEVER die and that man must be caught

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  2. What a beautiful day, to be born on Thanksgiving! I was hoping you could have joy this holiday so close with this time of the year for you… thank you for sharing such Happy news! Congratulations to your family! Love and hope for Michaela and to you all.

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