I really work at being happy. I know that there are no benefits to being unhappy. It doesn’t alleviate any of our problems, certainly doesn’t make us feel better, and doesn’t make the people around us feel better either. I think that God has sent a number of people into my life who are unhappy for one reason or another, at this time or at that time. This has been kind of a blessing, because there is nothing like looking into the mirror of another’s soul to help us see ourselves. I don’t like people to be unhappy, especially people I care about, so I have a tendency to go around trying to prop them up, to make them feel better. I make myself be cheerful in order to cheer others as much as myself.
But honestly, there are a lot of little cracks that run through my heart, and it takes only the tiniest of blows to make it start aching and leaking sorrow. And sometimes … well, sometimes I just feel lost.
That’s all I have to say. Nothing profound or wise. I do have a lot of happy things in my life, and I appreciate them immensely, but happiness is often delicate, and I guess I just want to say that I would really appreciate it if life would stop tapping on my heart in unpleasant ways and just support my efforts to be happy.
Is that too much to ask? Maybe. But I’m going to work at it nonetheless, because it is good for those I love.