What happened to Baby Lisa?

Let me begin by saying that I don’t know what happened to Baby Lisa. I don’t know whether she was the victim of a stranger abduction, was kidnapped by someone known to the family, or was the victim of a terrible accident that was covered up. But neither does anybody else, and at this time there is absolutely zero evidence pointing absolutely at any of those possibilities as the single most likely. This is the only fact that exists in the case — that we don’t know what happened to Baby Lisa Irwin.

So if we don’t know, what is the proper way to proceed? It is with an open mind and most of all with an open heart. The only appropriate way to approach this case is to focus on searching for a living baby Lisa, because most infants who are kidnapped are not killed. Most infants who are kidnapped are kept and adopted and can easily be raised by someone else as their own child. And the other only appropriate way of approaching this case is by opening our hearts to the family. I know that everybody is thoroughly outraged by the Casey Anthony story, but keep that outrage where it belongs — on Casey Anthony. We cannot let it affect our attitudes towards other families with missing children.

The overwhelming grief and anxiety of having your child go missing … well, it is absolutely the worst thing that you could ever experience. To be heaped on top of that with the terrible experience of being treated like the prime suspects by the police, including some pretty heavy handed interrogation techniques, and then to be vilified by the media and the public … well, that just creates a burden that is too great to bear. This family needs to be treated with love and compassion. In this country we are innocent until proven guilty, right? More to the point, as decent human beings, it is our obligation to love and respect our fellow human beings and treat them with compassion unless and until it is proven that they are not deserving of that. And this family has not shown that they are not deserving of this. So far the only thing that we know the mom did that is even questionable is to drink several glasses of wine after putting her kids to bed, and then not admitting to that right up front. It may not have been the best judgment, which perhaps she knew and for that reason didn’t talk about it in the first place, but it’s hardly criminal. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love her children every bit as much as anybody else, and it doesn’t mean her heart is any less broken because one is missing. It doesn’t make her any less deserving of our compassion and help.

I’m appalled at the disinformation that has been spread regarding this case. For example, I kept hearing that the mom failed the lie detector test, or the mom admitted to failing the lie detector case. In fact, this is not true at all. What the mom actually said was that the police had told her that she had failed the lie detector test, but that they refused to show her the results. People, the mom was not admitting to having failed the test — she was accusing the police of lying to her. And they do lie to people they are interrogating. They make it seem that they know more than they do, in order to get the person they are interrogating to admit something. But the media and the public took off with this like it was some kind of an admission of guilt when it was not. And if she had “failed” the lie detector test, what would that mean? Failing every single question? No. So what question might she have failed? One that had nothing to do with what had happened to Baby Lisa? Like, perhaps, something to do with the fact that she’d had too much wine to drink before going to bed herself? Yet this still has nothing to do with guilt in the disappearance of her baby.

People say the parents are “not cooperating,” or “not saying anything.” They are criticized for having an attorney, and criticized because a private investigator has been paid to work on the case, and then criticized because they didn’t accept help from a different private investigator. Someone puts up a $100,000 reward and they are somehow criticized for that with articles saying that it has nothing to do with the police tip line reward of $1,000 (which the police said they would only consider increasing if the leads dry up). The mom went to the grocery store the day before her baby disappeared and bought wine and baby supplies, and she was in the company of a young man (who I’ve heard was her brother, but I don’t know), and somehow this is interpreted as something terrible and an indicator of guilt??? Oh, and don’t forget that there are all these “experts” out there who are getting on TV and analyzing the position of their eyebrows and intonation of their statements to figure out whether they are guilty or not.

Come on, people! If I was the parents, I wouldn’t be talking to anybody either, because there seems to be nothing they can do or say without it being twisted and turned and used against them.

As for the police, of course they need to investigate the parents. They should ask questions. They should thoroughly investigate the evidence, as they have been doing. But in my opinion no police officer should be treating the family of a missing child with bullying tactics. They should not be trying to “wear them down.” They are already worn down with the worst of grief and fear. By the police as well as the public, they should be treated with compassion until it is proven that they deserve anything else.

Yes, it is entirely possible that Baby Lisa could have been kidnapped from her room in the middle of the night. For goodness sakes, both Elizabeth Smart and Polly Klaas were kidnapped from their bedrooms in the middle of the night, while their mothers slept in a nearby room, even while other children were in the same room with them! There is absolutely no reason to think that this could not have been the case.

One final word … I hope that you caught the fact that I am insisting that at this point in time, this family should be treated with kindness and compassion. For some reason, people are always offended if I monitor the content of my own blogs and facebook, but I want to let you know up front that I will not print any comments from anybody which do NOT treat this family with kindness and compassion. In the current climate, there are too few places where this is the order of the day in this case, but this blog is going to remain one of them.

God bless you, Baby Lisa. May you come home soon and safe.

Of course the police need to investigate the parents. They need to inve

8 thoughts on “What happened to Baby Lisa?

Add yours

  1. all we can hope for is that baby lisa is found safe and well. As you say, everything the family say will be twisted into meaning whatever other ppl want it to mean.they are most likely keeping quiet as whatever they say is being turned against them. i think some times the public just want some one to blame.


  2. Sharon, I fully agree. It is my opinion that people point fingers at the parents and use easy explanations like a cover-up to squash their own fears. For an outsider, it is much easier to come up with an explanation of “Oh, the parents did it and therefore we need not worry about abductions in our own life. We have our answers. I am not like them so therefore it will not happen to me. Moving on.” No one knows how they will react. If a parent reacts with shock and disbelief, they can be misinterpreted as cold and uncaring. But this may just be them trying to deal. Also, when I've been in shock, my memory has gone blank (it's an emotional safety tool) so new information that was allegedly “withheld” is not necessarily them trying to cover it up. Regardless, this is ultimately about LISA and that is who we need to focus on and find.


  3. Why do you feel like we are attacking you, those of us who do believe the mother of this child has something to hide. She and you are two different people.


  4. Of course I don't feel anybody is attacking me, and I didn't say anything in this blog to indicate that I did. I think I pretty clearly stated that I believe in treating the families of the missing with compassion unless and until it is PROVEN that they don't deserve that. Having a missing child is hard enough when all the love in the world is poured out to you. To be vilified on top of it makes life nothing short of a living hell. I am hoping that the family does not deserve that.


  5. Thank you for this post. I have been following this story and my heart ACHES for these parents. It is like people want them to be guilty! Until there is hard evidence to prove otherwise (and there isn't any right now), we need to focus on finding Lisa. And you are right. There is an excellent chance she is safe and alive somewhere. Praying for her and this family.


  6. Good post!I have read that more people than one have witnessed a man dressed in Tshirt carrying a baby in the same neighbourhood in the middle of the night. Isnt that a very strong lead, and some sort of “proof” that the parents did not do it? Tina


  7. My heart goes out to you and anyone else who have lived through such an undefinable horror. Please, we all must learn how to be good to one another and learn to live well – this includes trusting one another first unless we have reason otherwise, as expressed by the facts at hand. I hope the baby is found safe – the rest is immaterial, but the facts must be unearthed by those people who have them – the parents must work with everyone to help find poor, Lisa, if at all possible


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