Dear Michaela … HELP!

So recently I’ve been getting veiled messages from people who obviously know more than they are telling. They may have actual information, or they may not … I have no idea. And I will admit, I have absolutely LOST IT with these people lately. I am sick to death of the bullshit. People, if you have information, then GIVE IT TO ME!

And Michaela, these people are still, or again, suggesting that you are alive out there somewhere but that for some reason you don’t want to come home — that because of the things your kidnapper has subjected you to, you want to avoid ME. And no, I have to admit, I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS. I want to be the all-understanding great mother here, but I am NOT. I am a mother whose child was STOLEN AWAY from her over twenty-one years ago and who has lived in hell over it for all that time.

Michaela, do you know who you are? I had told you, and I’ve written about it so many times since you’ve been gone, how could you not know? You were my first child. I had longed for you for years before I had you, and had even had to take fertility pills to get pregnant with you. You are the single person who taught me what it means to give your heart totally to another person. You taught me the real meaning of love, in its greatest joy and also the deepest, darkest depth of its pain.

When you were little you used to say “kee-ka-bah” for cookie, and “garba” for grandmother, grandfather, and garbage! You could name all the letters of the alphabet on sight before you were two years old. You learned them because we used to sit on the floor and pile up letter blocks, and said their names as we built the piles. You loved to dance and sing, to read and write. Do you remember your favorite movies, like “The Boy Who Could Fly”? Do you remember when we met the star of that movie while he was home visiting his family for Easter? Do you remember any one of a million things that are you?

Were you able to witness any of the search for you over the last 21 years? In the days and months after you were kidnapped, did you see the flyers posted on every tree, telephone and window? Did you see the billboards and the milk cartons? The TV shows and newspaper headlines? Even now, 21 years later, do you see all the many, many, many people who never even knew you who pour out their love to you?

Not least of all me.

Michaela, when you were little I used to tell you, “Be careful and take care of yourself, because if anything ever happened to you it would break my heart.” And I know that after you were kidnapped in the midst of your own terror and pain, you would have thought about that. I know you would never have wanted to break my heart. So now, please, if you are out there, remember this! Remember when we sat and watched the news reports about Amber Swartz and Candy Talarico, who had been kidnapped the summer before you were. We talked about it, remember? We agreed that this must be the worst possible thing that could happen, to not be able to find each other, to not be able to help each other. And then it became reality for us.

If you are out there, Michaela, please, please, please end this nightmare. I realize there may be a thousand reasons why you wouldn’t want to come home. I know there may be things you have been through that you don’t want to talk about, and I’m not going to try to fool you into thinking you would never have to do that. But you would not have to tell me anything you don’t want to. And I just want to say one more time that there is nothing you could tell me that would ever change my feelings for you. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL AND EVERY LAST LITTLE BIT OF MY BEING!

If you even think you could be Michaela, it would be so easy to establish. Remember when you went to the child safety fair at school? They took a full set of your fingerprints, and we still have those on file. All you would have to do is submit a set of your fingerprints and we could know if it is you. If you wanted to do that anonymously, you could do that, just to give both of us peace of mind as to whether or not it is actually you. You could send them to my post office box: P.O. Box 55844, Hayward, CA 94540. Nobody ever checks that post office box but me (and I don’t do it regularly, so tell me if you are sending something). But I can get them out and give them to the police, and when I get the results I can publish them here in my blog, or I can send you an e-mail, or call you. Then you would know. You would know for certain that you are Michaela. You would know for certain who you are and what happened to you, and then you would be able to make a fully informed decision about what you want to do.

And I would know. As it is, I really don’t believe these people. They know someone and they claim that they KNOW this person is Michaela. But I don’t believe they could know this with any certainty, and therefore to me you are still just MISSING. Even if you chose not to contact me, if I knew for a fact that you were alive, it would make such a big difference to me.

Above all, I beg you to PLEASE don’t let anybody influence you. Please don’t let anybody dissuade you from talking to me, or to our detective Rob Lampkin who is the nicest man in the world, and who I can guarantee actually loves you. These other people — well, who knows what their motivations may be, but if they really cared about you, they would want only the best for you, and the best would be for you to at least have peace about who you are, and why and how you suffered what you have suffered.

Others have come home, Michaela. Jaycee Dugard came home. She has been well hidden and has had to give up nothing against her will. She is able to live in peace with her family. Shawn Hornbeck came home, and Elizabeth Smart, and they went on with their lives, even returning to school, living in society. If these people can do it, Michaela, it can be done.

PLEASE, PLEASE, just contact me. E-mail me at You can leave a voicemail message at 510-995-7085, although you’d have to leave a contact number where I could call you back, because there isn’t an actual phone attached to this number. You could call any of the contact numbers on your website, Send an anonymous letter, a photograph, your fingerprints.

Please! I’m begging you! Do not let these people manipulate you any longer!

I love you forever
I like you for always
As long as I’m living,
my baby you’ll be


61 thoughts on “Dear Michaela … HELP!

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  1. PV, I think that everyone has done a wonderful job of letting Michaela know (if she is reading this) that there is NOTHING that has happened in the past that will lessen the great love her family and everyone who knows her has for her. She can come back to her family feeling confident that her future will be taken care of and 21+ years of love will be heaped on her. I don't think that it would have been possible for Sharon to write any of this, but it definitely is not meant to be hurtful.I pray with all my heart that all the obstacles that are standing between finding Michaela and the answers that her family seeks will be removed. Sending you good wishes, Sharon and Michaela! Love,Radhika


  2. I have to say that, while I think I understand that you people have good motivations, I agree with PV. The conversations in here these last few days have been disturbing to me. I think it's sufficient to tell Michaela that NO MATTER WHAT has happened in the last twenty-one years, I love her and accept her fully and wait for her with open arms. I really honestly don't think it is necessary to speculate on just what horrible things may have happened. Honestly, the chances of Michaela having become a pedophile are like slim to none, and personally I think that for her to be sitting there reading that people think she might have would probably be more disturbing to her than comforting. So I continue to have faith in your intentions, but honestly, let's just focus on the unconditional love and not on the dozens of horrible possible scenarios our minds might be able to conjure if we let them.Thanks all.


  3. This must be the record blog on number of comments – so I will continue the record. I agree, it is a sweet blessing to peer into Sharon's heart and writings. Recently, I've been looking for a counselor to help me with my own personal pain, but it has been hard to find a fit. However, the writings and wisdom of Sharon have been very helpful and better connected me to my own pain. Despite a very different life story, there are still common parallels on love and pain. I really appreciated the last couple of posts as well, but my most favorite recent post was Dear Michaela(Hope Revisited)sharing more about Michaela and her girliness. My heart danced with Michaela's as I learned how much she liked to dance – it was neat to read the anonymous comment from someone who remembered Michaela and her friends singing and dancing to the radio! But I guess there is sadness too, because Michaela's days of being a girl were cut short by this horrible crime. I wince when I think of what Trina witnessed – a 2 minute crime that is still unsolved 21 years later. And the reality of this crime is 21 years of nearly unbearable pain for Sharon, Trina, and Michaela's family. Another reality – where is Michaela? She was just busy being a girl!!! Why this precious girl?Sorry to venture off on this topic, but I just wanted to say THANK YOU Sharon for pouring out your heart in love for the world to share. THANK YOU Sharon for carefully reading all of these comments despite the repeated questions and varied speculations. Many people have already said they love your mother's heart. I LOVE your mother's heart. You have really been through too much for the past 21 years. You do so much for your little girl and you never, never, never stop!!!!!!! And you know, God does the same for us and you are a wonderful reflection of God's heart.We do have a lot of human hearts and minds on this blog, and perhaps there are some who hope to have the answer. When I first learned of Michaela's case, I hoped to find a solution too. So I am glad to learn that the case has never gone cold and is actively worked by excellent investigators. I have a speculation myself, but it is probably something the professionals have already considered. So, let us all continue our hopes and prayers. Pray for Michaela to come home. Pray for Sharon to remain strong despite all this hardship.DianaDiana


  4. Sharon,I opened a can of worms. Just know that I never intended to. I apologize to those who were offended. You're all right, this is a place for Sharon to speak to us, not for us to fill her mind with horrible possibilities.I never meant to do that. I was just trying to make sure that no stone goes unturned. And sometimes the craziest possibility is the one that turns out to be true (i.e. Sandra Cantu case). I dont know the ins and outs of your case, and what your investigator has and has not looked into… better to make sure you knew of that particular possibilty than keep it hidden to spare feelings. (just me- but i'd rather know all possibilities than not knowing one that might hurt and could be the key to getting answers about my child)Who would have thought 20 years ago that the Catholic Church would be under fire for all these pedophilic priests? The public just couldn't fathom or swallow something so horrific… But now, people are able to handle it and realize that crap like that DOES exist.Nevertheless, I have been praying for you even before I knew about you. I have been praying for ALL families with lost and stolen children. I gave birth to my first son exactly 11 months ago. And I pray every day nothing like this ever happens. Sharon, you are so amazing and really truly an inspiration. I don't think I could stay as strong and dedicated and hope-filled as you do every day.God bless you.-Aimee


  5. Sharon-I really debated commenting any longer on this particular thread, bc I was afraid it would just prolong it, but I decided I couldn't let it go without an apology and a thank you to you. If you don't want to post this, I would understand why.I am so sorry if anything I wrote offended you or upset you, that was not my intention at all. I think there are lots of questions out there in the field of psychology that need exploration & answering if we want to find solutions, but they don't necessarily need exploring on your personal blog 🙂 Honestly, a huge part of why I wrote in the first place is because I greatly value your opinions & feel you probably have more insight than most when it comes to real world experience & instincts. You are so open & honest with your readers, that it is easy to forget that you have boundaries & areas you may not want to discuss, & I am truly sorry for writing anything that took you in a direction you didn't want to go. The rest of the reason I wrote was for the same reasons that Aimee stated, I wanted to help (I guess it was in my own way, although I can see that in the end it caused more harm than good).Thank you so much for sharing the story of your son & his friend. Your family was already dealing with so much, it must have been terribly hard to feel like people who were your friends were judging your family for it. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I guess that people sometime do irrational, cruel things when they are afraid. I can see why you felt further victimized. As usual, your honesty is such a gift to us all. I think that after reading here, many people will find something on your blog that makes them question their own actions/beliefs, or that will teach them to see the world a little differently. I know that this blog does this for me on a regular basis, so once again, thank you! I look forward to continuing to read here.-Eli


  6. Eli, I believe that just about everybody who goes to the trouble of commenting on my blog does so from the goodness of their hearts. I actually feel hesitant to question or criticize things people say for that very reason. So I am glad that you were able to take my arguments and my statement of my feelings well. I have found so often in my life that people take disagreement personally and get angry about it.So thank you for taking it all in the spirit in which it was intended … and thank you for allowing me to be me, to have my own feelings and thoughts, and accepting me anyway! You have no idea how much I really appreciate that!


  7. Just keep praying ,pray, pray, pray. Maybe this man this evil person if you can even call him a person has already met god and god is dealing with him, untill we know i pray we find answers. I will pray for you now openly here. Dear god Sharon believes in you so please help her, its said if 2 or more come together to ask something of you that you will answer, we see these exaples in the bible and i know you wouldnt do for one and not another,thank you for hearing us dear god, amen. To the person or persons who know where Michaela is we will never stop ever we are moving in on you, if you know where she is but you yourself didnt take her i would suggest you tell us, i will pray for those people too that they come forward, all my love, Kim


  8. I've said this before, but I think it warrants a reminder: If this mysterious girl isn't Michaela, she's someone who believes she was kidnapped from Hayward, CA. Maybe the focus should be on resolving her (Michaela's?) dilemma, first. We can deal with the crimes commited once she is safe.Sharon, I don't know how you aren't “climbing the walls” yet. God Bless!


  9. Well, Penny, instead of climbing walls I have unfortunately climbed down a few throats lately over the whole thing. But the girl actually believes she was adopted from Hayward, California. Some other person decided she was actually Michaela. Funny thing is that when she thought she was adopted she apparently wanted to find her family, but once she found out she'd been kidnapped, she didn't. Seems very odd to me.


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